


Darling, Only You Can Ease My Mind

by great_turkey_calamity



Series: Hey Look Trans Rep [2]
Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Alex is feeling bad so he and Henry bang and talk about it, Begging, Don’t bind during sex y’all thats b a d, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn— but make it dysphoric, Riding, TW: unsafe sex, Trans Alex, power bottom Alex, thats it folks, this is after like a ten day break so I apologize for a massive skill drop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:29:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24403591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/great_turkey_calamity/pseuds/great_turkey_calamity
Summary: Alex is not doing too well, so naturally, Henry helps him out
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Series: Hey Look Trans Rep [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747501
Comments: 8
Kudos: 135





	Darling, Only You Can Ease My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Yeehaw haven’t written in literally forever so here’s some porn

Desire.

That is the thing that has driven Alexander to his current state of sickness. Everything feels perfect— _too_ perfect. Henry always acts like this when he’s the one giving, always slow and gentle, savoring every second of their deeply intimate moments. It makes his stomach twist, to be held by someone so perfect, so strong and sweet. It nearly disgusts him, to be touched like he _means_ something, like his body _isn’t_ a mismatched mess, something that’s so cumbersome and inefficient and burdensome.

It makes him feel vile.

A hand slips up his shirt, and he fails miserably to keep himself from tensing up, slowly exhaling from his nose. He feels a hand cup his face, but can’t bring himself to look at his lover. His body slowly relaxes, and he sighs, shutting his eyes.

“Do we need to stop?” He hears through the thick fog in his head. He sighs once again, and removes his face from the pillow to look at him properly. He sees concern in his beautiful blue eyes, and his chest feels like it’s fluttering. He clears his throat, and speaks up.

“No— I—“ He starts, pausing to collect his thoughts before continuing. “I just think that I wanna keep my shirt on tonight, if that’s alright.” He explains. “It’s been a rough day, and I just don’t think that I can handle _that_ , you know?”  
  


Henry nods, interlacing his fingers with Alex’s and gently squeezing his hand. “I understand, love. I would never pressure you into doing anything that you’re uncomfortable with, you know that.” He tells him, reassuring him that his own comfort is key. “How far do you want to go?”

“All the way.” He replies easily, having known this from the moment that Hen got him to pull away from his work. “Just— let me be on top when that time comes.” He says, knowing that he’ll lose it if he has to lie down face up and take it. The mere thought of doing that makes him feel sick all over again. 

“Of course. How do you want me to start?” His lover questions, going back to darkening the already prominent marks on his neck and reigniting the flames between his legs. 

“I want your mouth,” He instructs. “Your fingers, too.” He continues, humming softly as his lips trail lower and lower, grazing against the skin on his neck and collarbones. He feels a dip in the bed, and his underwear being slipped down and off of him, then those same lips on his hips and the insides of this thighs. He threads his fingers through his partner’s soft blond hair, laying there with a frozen heart and baited breath, simultaneously thrilled and petrified.   
  


The warm, wet sensation of Henry’s tongue pressed against his cock makes him jolt in pleasure. He lets out a shaky breath, gripping tighter into his hair. The sensation is slow and dragging at first, teasing. It makes him want to beg for mercy. He tries to stay collected, but he can’t keep himself from trying to shut his legs when his boyfriend moans around his dick.

He feels himself flush when his legs are promptly pried apart and held open. His grip is firm, yet gentle— just enough to keep him from squirming around too much. Alex peers down, then immediately back up when their eyes meet, picking one of the corners where their bedroom walls join together to stare at.   
  


Pressure and speed slowly build, and he gives his hair a tug of approval. “That’s it, baby.” He breathes, his skin on fire at this point, hips slowly grinding upwards to generate more friction and sensation. “Just like that. God, _yes_.”  
  


His praises are rewarded with Henry’s fingers, starting off with one slowly thrusting in and out of him. He’s already seeing stars, and he can’t count the amount of times that he’s said the word ‘fuck’. Soon enough, a second finger is following suit, and as much as he hates the sound and damns himself for doing so, he can’t help but let out absolutely pitiful moans.

Eventually, his orgasm hits, crashing over him like a tidal wave, and quenching the inferno that blazes inside him. His thighs are being kissed and rubbed while he shakes and gasps erratically, and it is entirely too soft for him to comprehend. 

He rakes a hand through his own hair, combing the curls out of his eyes. He places his opposing hand on his stomach, trying to ground himself with the rise and fall of each breath.   
  


“You,” He eventually gets out, looking down at Henry. “Are an absolute _monster_. A creature that I can’t even _begin_ to describe.” 

“I take it as a compliment, the fact that you find me to be indescribable.” Is the retort, accompanied by a fiendish smile and a kiss to the sensitive tip of Alex’s cock.

He groans, his body jerking as if he’s been shocked. “Fuck _you_.” He swears, his mind hazy as his skin tingles with a feeling akin to pins and needles.

“What’s that?” His partner questions, teasing him once again with his fingers. “Did I hear ‘ _stop_ ’?”

He clenches his legs together, glaring at him. “You most certainly did not. Get your ass up here, _now_.”

Not to his surprise in the slightest, Henry laughs, surging up to kiss him on the lips. It’s an unholy mess, and he can taste himself on his tongue. He grabs him by the hips, only taking a brief moment to allow his hands to dip lower and grope at his ass before flipping them both over.

He yanks his underwear down, and immediately tends to his dick, pumping him quickly. He loves seeing Hen like this— a prince reduced to a panting, red-faced mess in the palm of his hand. He increases his speed, occasionally running his thumb across the tip.  
  
  


“Stop— _Christ_ , darling.” Henry rasps, looking rather beautiful and disheveled. “I won’t be lasting much longer if you carry on like that.” He warns. 

“Oh, very well.” He sighs, moving to straddle him. “Since you’ve been so _good_ for me, I suppose I’ll relent.” He continues, feeling a surge of confidence from the role of dominance he’s slipped into. Placing his hands on Hen’s chest in order to support himself, he slowly sinks down onto him, both of them letting out groans that echo off their bedroom walls.  
  


He starts out with slow grinding, just trying to get used to the familiar, yet still breathtaking stretching sensation. He’s encouraged by the soft grip on his waist to pick up the pace, so he does exactly that.

Alexander’s senses are coming in waves, never colliding or occurring all at once. He hears the slap of skin against skin, tastes the remnants of earlier on his lover’s lips, and sees his face contorted in the spitting image of euphoria. However, he’s unable to focus on any of that, as he’s currently riding Henry for everything he’s worth. He doesn’t receive much, but _fuck_ — nights like these make him think that he should change that.

Just when it’s getting to the point where he’s red-hot and shaking, something snaps him out of his borderline-hedonistic state.  
  


“Fuck, baby, ‘m so close.” Henry grunts, his nails digging into his hips and leaving crescent-shaped markings in their wake. 

“Beg for it.” 

The look on Hen’s face makes him feel like a god, like he has this poor soul’s fate wrapped around his little finger. If he wasn’t getting off before, this power trip was most certainly helping to get the job done.

“ _Baby_ —“ 

“You heard me.” Alex snaps, voice harsh as he feels heat building up more and more in intensity. “Beg me to let you come. Convince me that you are _worthy_ of such pleasure.”

Upon receiving another whine, he glares down at him. “Do it,” He starts, giving him an ultimatum. “Or I _stop_.” He commands, perhaps a bit high off the feeling of control.

“Please,” Henry pleads, and the begging goes straight his dick. “Please, let me come. I _need_ it. Please, please, _please_.” He sobs.

He smirks, not quite done being ruthless yet. He picks up speed, fucking himself down on him as fast and hard as he can. He also reaches down to touch himself, knowing that internal stimulation couldn’t finish the job alone. Within minutes, he’s on his second orgasm of the night, moaning senselessly as his hips twitch and buck uncontrollably. “Do it—“ He gasps, exhausted. “Come for me, sweetheart.” He encourages, shuddering as his boyfriend finishes. He presses his face into his shoulder, trying to calm himself down.

Neither one of them move for a while, coming down from their respective highs, limbs intertwined as they hold one another steadfast and tight, breathing heavy and feeling just a touch numb. Dread and unease settle over him once again, and he separates himself from his lover, laying down and turning onto his side.

“Binder needs to come off.” Henry reminds him in a sweet, loving voice, which causes him to groan in distaste.

“ _Ugh_ , why are you so caring?” He complains, sitting up and removing his shirt quickly, peeling off the infernal thing and throwing it on the floor before hastily yanking his top back on. “Why can’t you just let me break all my ribs?”

“Because I love you, and that would be horribly painful.” Is the response, and as stubborn as he is, he can admit that it made him a little less miserable to hear these words. “Now, quit your fussing and come here.”

Alex is more than willing to follow these instructions, scooting to his side of the bed. A hand is rubbing his back, and a pair of lips are leaving pecks along his face. He feels even better, somehow. He eases into the comforting action, stretching out and clinging to his lover.

“I love you, you know.” Henry comments, exhaustion prevalent in his voice.

“No _way_.” He replies sarcastically, craning his neck up to look at him properly, smiling and cupping his face. “I love you, too. Thank you for reminding me to take care of myself.” He tells him genuinely. “I know that I can pretty hard to put up with sometimes, and I’m so glad that I have you.”

“Hey, now. I’m not ‘putting up’ with you. You’re not ‘putting up’ with me on a bad day, are you?” He asks, not even waiting for Alexander to answer his question before he continues. “We all have our good and our bad days, love. I’ll always be here to help you through the bad, no matter how big or how little the problem is.” 

“Shut up, you big sap.” He retorts, not actually having any sort of proper comeback as he pecks his pulse point. “I’ll always be here for you, too.”

“I know that you will.” His partner responds, yawning softly. “We should probably get some rest, it’s quite late.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s only midnight— that’s practically late afternoon.”

“ _Alexander Gabriel_.”

“Okay, okay.” He relents, not particularly enjoying the scolding tone to Henry’s voice as he reaches over him to turn off the lamp. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight, gorgeous.” 

There’s a kiss pressed to his cheek, then they both fall into a comfortable silence. Alex is still wide awake long after Hen falls asleep, wondering how he ever managed to get so lucky as to have him as his life partner— someone so understanding and caring when it comes to his health, both physical and mental.

He doesn’t remember when he falls asleep, only knowing that everything was warm and fuzzy, as it often is in the wee hours of the morning with a full bed and equally full heart.

He may have bad days— terrible days, but he knows that Henry will be there through it all.

Love.

What an indomitable thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: bi-disaster-fsotus


End file.
